And the advice is pretty useful for the rest of us, too.
By Rev. Dorothy S. Boulware
Word in Black
This is the time of year when connectional church bodies — like AMEs, United Methodists, and AMEZs — meet and renew their covenant, mission and goals. They also send returning and new pastors to begin a new ministry year. There’s something about newness that always sparks the heart and mind to start out with new energy, conviction and direction.
Many tales are told of unhappy unions between pastors and people that ended badly and much too soon. Some guidelines can help these new pastors navigate the often tricky paths of ministry. (Photo by Nycholas Benaia on Unsplash)
How many pastors fail within the first couple of years? Many tales are told of unhappy unions between pastors and people that ended badly and much too soon. How many make regrettable first steps that could have been avoided with the right counsel? There’s no way to know. But a little advice might be helpful.
Be clear about who you’re married to
“If you’re married, always remember you’re married to your spouse, not the church,” says Pastor Eric Scott, who pastors the Lighthouse Worship Center in Baltimore along with his wife, Pastor Marcia Scott.
“The church is God’s bride!”
This must work for him since they’ve been married for more than 30 years.
Remember people are people
Scott also says not to allow the size of the crowd to affect your delivery, how you minister and preach.
“If 10-20 people show up, feed them the best meal you can,” he said.
It’s also important to remember church people are just people.
“I will never forget the deacon who could barely read, but who loved the Lord and me. Nor can I forget another church member who confronted me with an attitude that was hardly godly,” says Dr. Chuck Lawless, dean of doctoral studies and vice president of spiritual formation and ministry centers at Southeastern Seminary in Wake Forest, North Carolina. “God’s church is people — and people can be a blessing one day and a heartache the next. Nevertheless, they are all God’s people, and they deserve our love.”
Get comfortable being uncomfortable
Perhaps the first thing is to get comfortable living in the land of the awkward because you’re going to spend the rest of your ministry there, as suggested by the Center for Preaching and Pastoral Leadership to young pastors.
“Engaging with diverse personalities, comforting the grieving, or addressing sensitive topics can often feel awkward and uncomfortable, remembering that even Jesus faced awkward moments during his ministry, and it is in those moments that we often experience breakthroughs and connections,” senior pastor Steve Tillis wrote in his blog.
Accept that you aren’t perfect
Another suggestion is to accept the fact that you will make a wrong decision, let someone down, or say something you regret.
“Perfection is an unattainable goal, even for pastors. It is essential to remember that mistakes are opportunities for growth and humility, and when you stumble, seek forgiveness,” Tillis wrote.
With all the things sure to create stress in a pastor’s life, such as weekly sermon preparation, fundraising and relationship building, finding and maintaining balance between work and play, church family and personal family is a must-do.
