Our ultimate goal as parents is for our children to gain the skills, knowledge, and confidence needed to live independently as adults. Teaching age-appropriate life skills through chores and other activities is one of the best ways to accomplish this.
What are some of the best chores and life skills to teach at different ages? Our guide provides age-appropriate chores, life skills, and helpful tips for parents to foster independent children.
Toddlers demonstrate their desire for independence with words such as “me do it” and their frustration when parents try to help with basic tasks such as getting dressed. While their determination and turtle’s pace of completing activities can be frustrating, it is also an opportunity to tap into their interest and teach beginning life skills. These include:
Getting dressed
Putting on shoes
Putting plates, cups, and silverware on the table
Helping prepare meals with simple tasks like pouring ingredients into a bowl.
Putting toys away in bins and baskets
It’s essential to keep your child’s abilities in mind. Some helpful tips at this stage include:
Limiting instructions to one step at a time.
Being patient with mistakes, spills, and it taking longer than expected for your child to complete tasks.
Keep chore time short and aligned with your child’s interest and attention span
Constant supervision.
Using visual labels.
Preschoolers are also interested in doing tasks independently and often mimic the adults around them. This shows up in their play when they care for baby dolls, cook food in play kitchens, or act out fire truck rescues. It is an opportune time for them to start helping with more complex tasks, especially those they will need to succeed in school. These include:
Setting and clearing the table
Putting laundry in the washer
Putting folded laundry into drawers
Feeding pets
Vacuuming
Putting away toys and books
More complex cooking steps, such as measuring and stirring
Watering plants and pulling weeds
Helpful tips for this age include:
Continuing to limit instructions to one step or two at a time
Maintaining patience
Praising effort and skills gained
Asking them to help you
Supervising tasks that may be dangerous or difficult
Using visual instructions
Follow your children’s interests
When your children start going to school, they spend significant time without you. You have done your best to prepare them for the classroom, but there is a lot to learn and teach. Engage with your child’s teachers to find out if there are skill areas they should be working on. As their interests continue to develop, focus on broad skills and building increased competence in their favorite areas. Chores and skills you can add include:
Loading and unloading the dishwasher
Doing the laundry, including folding and putting away
Walking and feeding the dog or other pets
Putting away groceries
Making the bed
Cleaning their rooms
Vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, and mopping
Gardening and lawn care
Following recipes
Packing their lunch and backpack for school
Being responsible for completing homework and school projects on time
Keeping track of activities and schedules on a calendar
Helpful tips at this age:
Chore difficulty should increase gradually over the elementary school years.
School-aged children may start to resist doing chores. It can be helpful to talk with them about how maintaining the home is part of being a responsible family member. Some families choose to provide an allowance at this time as an incentive.
Supervision is still important, especially with potentially dangerous tools and equipment such as knives and lawnmowers.
Start establishing routines such as times or days of the week when chores should be completed to help build consistency.
Avoid changing chores too often.
Checklists and shared calendars can serve as helpful reminders.
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As your children get closer to adulthood, it is a good time to assess their current skills and identify areas for improvement. Consider everything you are responsible for as an adult and whether your child has the basic skills to meet these demands. Their interest at this age in money and financial independence can be an incentive and provide opportunities to teach your children how to be responsible with their money.
Additional chores and skills include:
Cleaning bathrooms and the kitchen
Take out the trash
Decluttering their room and deciding what items to sell, donate, or throw away
Opening a bank account and learning about budgeting and saving
Shopping for clothing
Shopping for groceries
More complex cooking and baking recipes
Meal planning
Helpful tips for this age:
Once again, adjust the skills to your child’s age, interests, and abilities.
Maintain patience, as your kids may challenge your expertise and want to do everything independently without your instruction.
Involve your child in decisions about what chores they prefer to do and when they will complete them to build independence.
Building competence in the skill areas they will need as adults is a long process. Start early and continue to build on their successes. Rejoice in all they have learned from you to help them prepare for the world without you.
