In the film Exhibiting Forgiveness, writer/director Titus Kaphar explores a man grappling over a reconnection with his estranged father. “It’s about an artist who uses his craft to help bring him towards generational healing,” he said at the film’s premiere screening inside the Museum of Modern Art in New York City. “We go to some hard places for a moment, but ultimately, it’s about an artist trying to bring his family out of the same things. And that’s my story.”
Kaphar recalled when his real-life father tried to approach him after a 15-year absence. “I had my two sons with me. My wife was behind me. And my father wanted to talk.” Initially reluctant, the artist finally agreed to sit down with his father, a camera in tow. “I said, ‘You need to account for some things.’ And he was a different person. He had evolved, and I really wasn’t ready for it.”
André Holland stars as Tarrell, the fictional version of Kaphar. His own life circumstances found their way into his portrayal. “I was going through a really difficult time with my own father. He was very sick. I was coming to terms with what it might mean to be without him. I think a lot of that grief I felt made his way into the film.” Recalling his relationship with his late dad, Holland noted that he was “incredible, the best.”
Broadway star John Earl Jelks plays La’Ron, Tarrell’s father. “He is a guy seeking redemption. Sometimes, seeking redemption may not look like what you want to look like,” he shared. “I knew guys that were addicted to something: alcohol, drugs. Once they got better, they wanted to say, ‘I’m sorry for all the pain I may have caused,’ not realizing all the pain they caused to themselves. You have to heal from the inside out—heal yourself first, and then you can honestly ask for forgiveness.”
Remembering his own relationship with his dad, Jelks revealed that they didn’t make amends until the end. “I waited until the last minute when he was dying,” he said candidly. “And I told him why. I painted him as a villain in my story without knowing the whole story. At the same time, I didn’t want to pass it on to my own sons…Be truthful, no matter how it hurts, especially with the people you love.”
It’s a sentiment Kaphar can stand behind.
“This film is not about the kind of forgiveness where it’s forgive and forget; I don’t believe in that. I think when we say forgive and forget, we’re telling victims to pretend like the damage done to them didn’t happen,” Kahar declared.
“It’s about the kind of forgiveness that allows you to put down your bags, put down the burden and say, ‘You owe me no debt anymore. I may be going this way, and you may be going that way, and that’s okay, but I forgive you.’”
Exhibiting Forgiveness is now in theaters.
