For people with some semblance of morality, compassion, and human decency, being called a hypocrite is fighting words if the charge is wrong. If correct, though, for the human being labeled a hypocrite, that charge causes painful introspection – or more specifically, some level of shame.
Most people view shame in the negative as something that possesses no value. However, psychologists, spirituals, and humans who possess human decency see shame as a critically important part of life.
WHAT IS SHAME
Shame is defined as “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.” The person who recognizes shame for what it is wants no part of it. I mean, who wants to feel ashamed of themselves or their actions?
But that’s why shame is so important. For humane humans, feeling shame helps us to course correct to get back on the right track. When we’re called out for speaking or acting in ways that go against everything we say we believe and stand for, we feel shame and are internally motivated to change our behavior and get back on the right track. The thought of us acting in ways that contradict what we’ve declared to the world that we believe in induces the emotion we call shame.
We want to do better and be better. We are disappointed in ourselves for not offering the world the best version of ourselves. Shame, then, is that reminder emotion – reminding us of who we really are, and that we are called to act and to live accordingly.
THE SHAMELESS ARE DANGEROUS
Thus, the most dangerous beings on the planet are those who don’t even possess the capacity to feel shame. They can lie, cheat, steal, and kill and feel zero remorse because they have zero “Fs” to give about shame. For regular folk, if we knowingly mistreat someone, we feel some level of shame (big or small) because we know we’re better than that. For the person with no shame, they can keep on moving without a care in the world.
There’s a word that describes the no-shame folk – sociopath. Sociopaths, defined as a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience (ie, lack of shame), are considered the most dangerous beings on the planet for that very reason. They are capable of doing any vile act and not giving a damn.
Years ago, a “friend” of mine, without going into the gory details, did me dirty. But because this person was a “friend,” we called in a mediator to help us find a path toward resolution so the relationship could be repaired. With the mediator present, my “friend” straight lied through their teeth about the incident in question and did so without blinking an eye. Seeing and hearing that hurt me more than the wrongdoing itself because I realized I was dealing with a being who lacked the capacity to feel shame. Now, I could have spent time staying around in that relationship, but it would have been a waste of time. Because expecting a person who has no shame to ever treat you with respect makes about as much sense as pissing in the wind. It’s all gonna come back on you!
PROGRESSIVES, GET ANOTHER STRATEGY
Where am I going with this? Democrats, progressives, and liberals, whether individuals, elected officials or cable news pundits, spend the lion’s share of their time and energy trying to shame Republicans into acting like humans. They might as well be pissing in the wind.
Republicans claim to be the party of law and order but have a long history of allowing the wealthy to get away with murder while demonizing the poor. GOP members claim to stand with law enforcement, but when police seek to hold them accountable, they start talking about beating and killing cops and even defunding the top US cop institution, the FBI.
Republicans claim to be pro-veterans yet vote against funding VA hospitals and making sure vets receive the benefits they need so they don’t end up homeless. Republicans claim to be pro-life but only offer “thoughts and prayers” after mass shooting, and stand against abortion but want to kill everybody who isn’t a right-wing white male hetero-Christian.
GOP folk, especially the Christian Right, declare LGBTQ members to be abominations against God, yet are always being caught living LGBTQ lives on the low.
Republicans claim to stand for democracy, yet there’s not enough room on their “inner-nets” to break down all the ways they actively and openly undercut democracy, choosing rather to worship white power and the myth of white supremacy.
The issue is, you can confront Republicans on each of these points and the other millions I could have listed, and it will make no difference. They’re gonna keep on being hypocrites. They’re gonna keep on being anti-everybody but themselves. They’re gonna keep on swearing they are the epitome of spiritually faithful yet doing devilish things with a smile on their face.
Why? Because they have no shame. Investing time trying to shame them, thinking it will move them to self-reflect and course correct once confronted with the error of their ways, is a fool’s errand. Because to them, their hypocritical ways are not an error. They’re standard operating procedures.
So, if you’re a human who possesses morals, compassion, and human decency, please don’t waste your valuable time, attention, and energy trying to convert sociopaths. There are a gazillion other ways your time, our time, can be better spent instead of wasting time pissing in the wind.
