Tauneshia Mattox never imagined she would suddenly become a parent to a teenager.
But when she learned that her cousin’s children were on the verge of being separated by the child welfare system, she didn’t hesitate. The family held a meeting, and before CPS could intervene, they made a difficult decision—Mattox would take in her 14-year-old second cousin to live with her in Houston, while the younger children would stay in California.
“Some people asked me, ‘What did her mom say?’ But her mom didn’t have to say anything—I made the decision because this is my family. We are family. My grandmother raised seven of us grandkids, so stepping up wasn’t a question. Family helps family.”
Mattox, who had been living in Texas for nine years, immediately arranged to bring her cousin’s daughter to live with her. But as much as she was committed to keeping her family together, the transition proved far more challenging than anticipated.
“She came with a lot of problems, a lot of trauma,” she admits. “I had to go from being the fun auntie-cousin to being her mother. And that’s hard.
“There are times I want to just be her friend, but I have to be the one setting boundaries, giving structure.”
Mattox faced financial and emotional hurdles. Raising a child is expensive, and she soon learned that kinship caregivers don’t receive the same support as traditional foster parents.
“She’s mine, and I’ll do whatever it takes, but it’s hard,” she says. “There are two of them now—I have an 8-year-old daughter, too. Some days, it feels like running a sorority house.”
Finding resources to support her niece was another struggle. The teenager struggled in school, and Mattox had no idea where to turn for help.
“I’m so glad I reached out to the school counselor. They referred me to DePelchin Children’s Center, and since then, things have been easier,” she says. “They’ve helped us with counseling and even with Christmas. I can’t express how much that meant.”
The Relatives As Parents (RAP) Conference
Relative As Parents coalition unites annually to host its event for kinship caregivers. Credit: Jimmie Aggison
Medical research shows that Black children are over-represented in the child welfare system and they are placed in kinship care compared to white children.
Black kin caregivers face significant challenges in providing care for relative children due to limited financial support, knowledge about the system, lack of health insurance and challenging relationships with birth parents. Cultural and systemic barriers, such as caregivers’ perceptions of services and client-worker interactions, limit their use of services.
Over 3 million US adults, primarily Black, older, economically disadvantaged women, provide formal or informal kinship care, often supervised by the child welfare system.
In Texas, more than 892,000 children live in homes where a relative is the head of household and 286,000 youth are raised by kin with no parent present.
Texas Kinfolk care statistics. Credit: Grandfamilies.org
The Relatives As Parents (RAP) Conference is a free annual event in Houston that brings together kinship (family or not) caregivers, child welfare professionals and community advocates to support families raising children they are related to.
Sharon Carter, a post-adoption and post-permanency case manager at provider Arms Wide, has been involved in the conference for the past eight years and understands its significance.
“It’s a coalition of people from different organizations that work in foster care, kinship care and child placement,” Carter said. “Our goal is to ensure families have the resources they need.”
The conference has been running for over a decade, providing a space for caregivers to learn about legal rights, financial aid and emotional support.
“One of the biggest challenges kinship caregivers face is financial support,” says Carter. “Many of them take in children with little to no assistance. They need help with school enrollment, court documents and even access to food stamps or social security benefits when the parents are absent.”
Relatives As Parents organizations provide local services and resources with kinship caregivers. Credit: Jimmie Aggison.
Beyond financial concerns, most families struggle with the emotional toll of caregiving. Children often ask questions about where their biological parents are located or why they have to stay with relatives. Carter says it’s heartbreaking, but the Black families she’s worked with throughout the years understand the importance of keeping the family united.
Most of the families involved in RAP have had some interaction with Child Protective Services (CPS).
“A lot of times, CPS places kids with relatives and just leaves them there with no explanation, no paperwork, no support,” Carter said. “It’s overwhelming, and families need guidance.”
Hudson Risch came from Ethiopia and was adopted at the age of five and brought to the United States, where his adoptive family raised him.
“It’s been an adventure,” Hudson said. “There have been hard moments, but also moments where I truly felt the meaning of family.”
Risch’s adoptive parents provided a loving home, but he admits that growing up as an adoptee came with unique emotional challenges.
“There were times I questioned my identity and wondered why my life took this path,” he said. “Being adopted means balancing two identities—the one I was born with and the one I was raised in.”
He found himself in and out of the juvenile justice system, hanging with the wrong crowds and at one point, being kicked out of his home. That was until he found mentors through The Opportunity Center, a former detention facility that provides educational and vocational opportunities for at-risk youth.
“Even if someone isn’t biologically related to you, they can still be family. These resources really saved my life,” he said. “I’ve had many mother and father figures who have supported me spiritually and emotionally, guiding me through tough times.”
Resource:
4950 Memorial Dr., Houston, TX 77007
